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March 31, 2024

On my recent break from work instead of enjoying the solitude I had been craving, I found myself stuck in loneliness instead. 

There is an intricate interplay between loneliness and solitude.

Luckily it did not take me too long to remember my previous experience with loneliness and draw on my past wisdom to draw on the transformative power that can lie hidden within life's moments of isolation

There was a time when loneliness gripped me fiercely.

It wasn't a mere absence of company; rather, it was a disconnection from the most vital companion—myself. Even when surrounded by understanding souls, I would still feel an echoing emptiness within. I discovered that loneliness, it seemed, was not a just byproduct of physical isolation but a consequence of neglecting the relationship with my own being.

I experienced loneliness as a powerful emotion and I was ashamed and frightened of it.

In the battle within, where self-compassion and understanding were scarce, loneliness emerged as a powerful emotion. Society often shrouds loneliness in shame, making it challenging to admit the ache within our hearts. Desperate attempts to escape its discomfort led me to a futile pursuit of external validation, drowning my life in a sea of social engagements that only amplified the disconnection within.

I thought it might be useful to share some of my personal reflections on loneliness.

  1. Loneliness vs. Solitude:Beyond being physically alone, loneliness can stem from an internal disconnection and a shortage of self-compassion. By prioritizing self-compassion, you can transform loneliness into an opportunity for solitude. In this space, you are invited to nurture a more profound connection with yourself. 

  2. Facing the Uncomfortable: Confronting loneliness requires bravery. Instead of evading its presence, raising your vibration and allowing yourself to feel the depth of this emotion can be transformative. The discomfort often masks the realization that loneliness can be less painful than the endless pursuit of external affirmation.

  3. Seeking Internal Nourishment: While external connections have their place, true solace lies in cultivating a rich internal relationship with self. Spending quality time in solitude provides the space to nurture and nourish your inner self, freeing you from the incessant need for external stimulation.

  4. Breaking the Cycle: Escaping loneliness through frantic social engagements perpetuates the cycle. Acknowledging and embracing solitude offers an opportunity to break this pattern, allowing you to make decisions and live authentically from a place of self-connection rather than desperation.

  5. The Gift of Self-Companioning: Loneliness reduces when you become your own ally. Offering kindness, empathy, and understanding to yourself creates an internal haven, making external validation and stimulation less urgent and empowering you to navigate life's challenges with resilience.

What I have come to learn for me is when I feel loneliness powerfully, this is when I need to take a step inwards, towards myself and deepen my inner relationship with self. 

I'd love to know what your reflections are! Please feel free to reflect and hit reply and let me know. 

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